Day 4

Something I have to forgive someone else for would be my mom hurting me so bad emotionally when I was younger. She made my life miserable when she divorced my dad because she forced me away from him for 2 months and would constantly lie to me because I guess she thought I was so young (11) that I wouldn't understand. Well maybe at the time I didn't get it, but I found out soon enough. I have always been a daddy's girl and I think it hurt her beyond measures when I refused and fought to go with her and demanded to live with my dad. Especially being so young she probably expected to just have both my sister and me with no problems. Over the years we drifted and fought constantly. I hated having to go stay with her on her weekends and hated even more when my dad and stepmom went out of town because it meant I had to spend a whole week at her house. She tried to make our relationship better by letting me do whatever I wanted and in all honesty that made it worse. I guess our relationship got better while I was in college and didn't have to see her much. I can handle her in small amounts. I guess I just cannot get along with someone who is a habitual liar and is too weak to leave her alcoholic husband. She will cover lies with more lies and then backs herself into a corner and can't get back out. Her personality is weak whereas mine is more strong. I hate that I have to blast her on here like this, but it's the truth. I love my mom and would do anything for her. I miss her and can't wait to see her, but we just don't have that mother/daughter relationship like most girls have with their moms. I have that relationship with my dad and get along more with my stepmom as a mom/daughter do than my own mother and I do. I have forgiven my mom for a lot of things, but I find it so hard to forgive her for the things she does today because they are preventable, she just chooses not to change.